Friday, March 23, 2012

Wanna Know What Happens to Your Application?

For the unfortunate souls who never had someone sit them down and discuss the proper way to fill out a job application or how to dress or act when picking up and/or dropping off said application this is what really happens when your app goes "on file".

It goes into a veritable nether world of rejected apps. They will never again see the light of day until they are shredded a year later. You know that place your missing socks from the dryer go to? Or that hole in the desert where those old E.T. video games are buried? Kind of like that.

But before the application makes it that far, it goes through a screening process that includes, but is not limited to, pointing; giggling; ridicule; head shaking; and being passed around so other employees can also partake of the pointing; giggling; etc. Of course now there is new place your app may end up before being tossed into the filing cabinet of no return...


Position: "Fixing books" That's a first for me. I give them points for giving me something new.
Salary Desired: "$650.00" Is that a week? Per hour? I too desire this magical salary.
Don't get me started on the availability. Toward the top it also appears that under age they started to check 17, but then realized they were 18. 

You couldn't estimate a number? A while? So boys and girls, let's see how we did. Pointed - check! Giggled - check! Ridiculed - check! Shake head - check! 

I know this may all seem rather mean spirited, but I guarantee you every retail store does this in some form or another. I know of applicants at other retailers who get tossed into group interviews simply for shits and giggles! Are we horrible people? Possibly, but retail does that to you. We have to find the humor in every little thing to keep from losing what little bit of sanity we have left. 

If you want to read more horror stories about applicants, I suggest checking out an excerpt from The Bloggess' upcoming book, Let's Pretend This Never Happened. She used to work in Human Resources and she shares some of her experiences. Hilarious! I look forward to reading the whole thing when it comes out next month. Here's the link : 

Another piece of advice: Don't wear your "F**k Authority" t-shirt when you drop off your application.


  1. With that availability he/she will be lucky to make 650 in a month!

  2. Wow, people BLOW ME AWAY! I dealt with this kind of crap at Del Taco, too. ANd then you get the people who pick up a job app and want you to sign their welfare crap so they can "prove" they were "looking" for a job... ridiculous.