Wait...what?

So, in addition to the insane, odd, and/or over-the-top book-related questions we get ones that have absolutely nothing to do with The Bookstore. Or maybe WE think they have nothing to do with The Bookstore, but someone else begs to differ. Here are some of my favorites over the years...

ON THE PHONE:

Me: How can I help you?

Girl: Can you tell me who was President in 1971?

Me: Um...Are you looking for a book with that information in it? Like an almanac? 

Girl: No, I just need to know who was President. 

Really? Are you on Who Wants to be a Millionaire? I'm not going to answer your homework questions for you!! That's what the internet is for.

ON THE PHONE:

Me: Hi, can I help you?

Old woman: What's the name of the eyeglass place that's by your store?

Me: Um....Lenscrafters?

ON THE PHONE:

Guy: Do you know if Santa Claus is there for pictures?

Me: I don't know if he's there.

Guy: Can you check?

Me: No. You can call the mall office.

I don't keep track of Santa Claus! I'm too busy during the holiday rush trying to keep track of my sanity.

Coincidentally, both Santa and I find our sanity in a wine glass.

"Do you know if Forever 21 is hiring?"

"I was told I could get a birth certificate here."

"Do you notarize?"

My favorite from just a few weeks ago....

Lady: Where is the Hallmark Store?

Me: It's upstairs, toward the center of the mall. (I'm also gesturing in what direction.)

Lady: How do I get there?

Me: There's an escalator right over there. (Pointing to the magical moving staircase in front of our store.)

*Lady is still staring at me like I've just spoken Klingon.*

Lady: How do I get there?

Me: You walk out the exit. (Gesturing to the gaping hole in the wall that leads into the mall.) And take the escalator (pointing again to magical staircase) then walk down toward the middle of the mall. (We are at the end so there is only one direction she can go from there.)

*I may have been a little cranky that day, but I mean....come on!*

Sorry, ma'am. I would give you my magical scarab amulet to light the way for you, but I lent it to Jafar. Bastard still owes me.